FIC: The Fountains of Life 3/?
Oct. 24th, 2006 03:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
niceandfluffy2FIC: The Fountains of Life
Chapter Three: The Kilt and the River
Author: Foofy
Rating: NC17
Pairing: SB/VM
Summary: Sean discovers that his definition of a bridge differs from Viggo’s
Additional notes: This chapter was written for the Kilt Porn Challenge for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
adventures_in.
*
There were many things Sean could call Viggo – some of which were remarkably crude on occasion – but certainly he wasn’t a liar. Ordinarily this would have been a good thing, a sign of trust and happiness and everything else that Star Trek liked to promote. However, ordinary situations did not include a bloody large river and the probability of getting damned wet.
Sean sat on an overhanging rock and looked at it. Deep. Not exactly fast but certainly not a mild current either, with slopes either side and random plant life ruining the knowledge of exactly where the edge of said river started. No ducks or waterfowl bobbed up and down on this water’s surface, possibly due to the fact that they’d more than likely get an extremely cold backside from this type of behaviour given the weather. And the cherry on the cake had to be the fact that there were no crossing points on said river either.
That was, of course, unless your name happened to be Viggo. Where Sean saw deep, cold water, Viggo saw the beauty of nature. Where Sean saw an absence of anything sensible to cross over, Viggo saw opportunities. Where Sean was practical, Viggo was an optimistic little git.
Well, that was Sean’ viewpoint anyway. Never go anywhere who actively enjoyed sleeping in the wilderness, they had obviously walloped their head somewhere in childhood. And certainly never listen to their opinions that things were only a minor inconvenience. Forgetting to post a card was inconvenient. Drowning was definitely on the list of Serious Issue.
Another factor on the list of Serious Issue was the subject of poisoning. This again was not something that Sean had ever considered to be a major part of his relationship with Viggo, assuming that Viggo’s annoying habit of taking over a room when he was painting would have caused more trouble and strife, but apparently it was feeling left out of the general situation and wanted to make its point known. Poisoning had turned up as a Serious Issue when breakfast had been considered. Viggo hadn’t been joking when he was talking about gathering for their food, and suddenly several unidentifiable strange items had landed on his plate when he had finally woken. Apparently they were a mix of shoots, leaves, random fungus, and something else, all happily cooked together to make a general blot on the landscape of cuisine. The berries were better, but on the whole Sean could have happily done without any of it.
“ You feeling a little more welcoming?” Viggo had snuck up on him whilst Sean was musing to himself and was watching him with a weary expression. Sean sighed to himself. It was hardly Viggo’s fault that they were… actually, scratch that. Sean’s ideas for yesterday had included staying in a pub drinking lager. However, Viggo had been trying to increase their foodstuffs which was actually pretty decent of him, considering. A break could be given.
“ Yeah,” he said reluctantly, turning to look at the river again. “ Sorry,”
There was a little amused noise behind him. “ It’s ok, I know what you’re like before eating something in the morning. Here,” Something unidentifiable was pushed under his nose. Sean moved his head to be able to focus on it, and glanced at Viggo when it was clear said ‘food’ was in some sort of packaging. Viggo grinned ruefully. “ Health bar,”
Sean’s eyebrows went up high enough to cause an obstruction to low flying aircraft. He took the bar gingerly as though expecting it to suddenly explode on him, and looked at Viggo again.
“ I thought we didn’t have any food?” he asked slowly. Viggo shrugged and offered another rueful smile at this.
“ We have some emergency supplies. I’d prefer to have a non-sulking Sean at my side than a grumpy one at my heels,” he glanced towards the river. “ So, you up for wetness?”
However, Sean wasn’t focusing on the river. He stared at Viggo incredulously and waved the health bar thing – which appeared to have nothing to do with health and everything to do with advertising – in a way of drawing Viggo’s attention back to the point in literal hand.
“ You’re giving up your last health bar for me?”
“ Well, it’s not exactly my last health bar, but for the sake of it sounding romantic, yes, yes I have,” Viggo smiled at him and ruffled Sean’s blonde hair affectionately. “ Can’t have you starving on me, after all. You’d be difficult to order around otherwise,”
Sean grinned at him and began to eat without further ado. He’d never been a fan of the whole ‘meal in a bar’ situation that seemed to be advertised as some sort of alternative to a breakfast, but then again there was no bar in the world that was going to be able to even challenge the might which was a bacon sarnie with HP sauce. And said bar certainly wasn’t a mushroom or anything vaguely scavenged which was even better.
Viggo gave a little stab of the thumb towards the river as Sean demolished the bar.
“ River,” he reminded him. Green eyes glanced up in surprise then glanced towards the river as though it was a brand new thing on his horizon. Sean looked back at Viggo dubiously.
“ But we’re going around it, yes?” his voice cleared showed his opinion of any comment which didn’t start with the word yes. Viggo however wasn’t listening to him, having wandered to the water’s edge and dipped his hand into the river. Sean sighed. “ Viggo,”
“ Hmmmm?” Viggo splashed the water a little with his hand.
“ I’m not crossing that damned river on anything but a bridge,”
“ Of course,” Viggo still had the tone of someone whose mind really wasn’t on the conversation, or possibly the soothing tones of a parent swearing that their target destination was ‘just around the corner’. Sean’s eyes narrowed even further to the extent that the world was suddenly a panoramic picture.
“ I mean it,” he warned.
“ We’ll find a bridge, no problem,” Viggo smiled at him and hoisted the backpack onto his back again, passing Sean his own. “ Come on, sweetheart,”
That was a little too easy. Viggo didn’t do too easy, it wasn’t in his contract and therefore warning bells rang to the point where they were deafening. Sean stared after him suspiciously before slinging his own backpack onto his back and following with a sulky little pout already in place. Well, you might as well start as you meant to go on and Sean had a suspicion that he was going to get sulkier before the bridge was sighted.
And he was right.
“ Please don’t tell me that’s the bridge?” Sean stared at the fallen tree across the river and then looked back at Viggo who had a pleased dog-with-bone expression. Viggo shrugged with his eyebrows and waved a hand toward the fallen wood.
“ It gets across it, doesn’t it?” his voice was pure reason. Sean snorted and squinted across the river, finally looking back again in disbelief.
“ It doesn’t even do that! It stops half way and then you have to bounce from rock to rock to get to the other side without hitting the branches!” he protested. “ That’s not a bridge in my book,”
“ You have books? I’m impressed,” Viggo was already navigating his way onto the trunk of the tree, avoiding the roots that had been ripped up by the force of the tree falling and wobbling to stand upright. He sighed again in satisfaction and put his hands on his hips, looking down the river and looking nothing so much as a pirate who was looking for his missing ship.
Sean gave the ‘bridge’ another suspicious look. The bridge, at least, didn’t look back but he was certain there were a lot of really pissed off animals due to the damned thing falling over. This was the type of bridge that a troll should sit under waiting for the unwary goats to trip trap over, although with this particular bridge it might be better if said troll just smeared butter over part of the trunk and waited for said goats to slide off.
“ This is idiotic,” he protested after a moment of Viggo not paying him any attention whatsoever. “ That is not a bridge!”
“ Sean, just stop whining and get your pretty little arse over here. Don’t tell me you never climbed trees when you were a kid,”
“ I climbed trees but they were vertical at the time!!”
“ Well then. This is easier. Gravity doesn’t get involved,” Viggo glanced down to the water underneath him and shrugged. “ Well, much anyway. Stop being a worrywart,”
“ I am NOT a worrywart!” Sean was stung by the injustice of the label.
“ I think you are,” replied Viggo cheerfully in a singsong voice that normally accompanied sticky children who had more cookies than sense.
“ Oh fuck off,” growled Sean and gingerly began to climb up the roots to balance uncertainly on the trunk itself. He looked up and wobbled across the trunk, arms outstretched like a tightrope walker balancing on the world’s fattest rope. Viggo watched him in amusement.
“ You know,” he commented after a while. “ That’s probably the sweetest thing I’ve seen for a long time, ignoring Orlando’s whole bunny suit thing,”
Sean looked up long enough to give him a scowl worthy of a crocodile with indigestion, then looked back at his feet just in case they were going somewhere he hadn’t approved. He slowly shuffled along a little more, trying not to think of the acrobatic bit that was coming up at the end with the rocks. This was a stupid idea. This was a stupid landscape. Hell, this was a stupid day. No health bar was worth this.
Finally he got to the point where he had to slide off the tree and onto the rocks. Viggo had already managed to do this although even he had to bend down to grab hold of handholds in order to navigate his way across the makeshift stepping stones. Half way across he paused to wait for Sean, out of his way but not too far that he couldn’t help.
“ Come on, Sean,” he said softly.
“ I’m not a dog, Vig,” came the cross response. Sean shuffled a little further and sat down on the trunk, dubiously looking at the rocks underneath him. Green eyes raised to look even more dubiously at grey-blue ones. Viggo smiled winningly.
“ You can do it, Seanie. You’ve done worse than this,”
“ I know. This doesn’t mean I liked any of it,” pointed out Sean with a sulky pout which he absolutely hated but knew it was worthwhile under the circumstances. Viggo grinned and slapped the rock he was stood on with a hand.
“ Here, boy,” A whistle was added to the end of the call.
“ And you can fuck right off with that as well,” advised Sean even more sulkily. “ If I was supposed to bounce from tree to rock to tree I would have been born with bright eyes and a bushy tail. Furthermore-,”
Unfortunately Viggo was not to hear what the furthermore part was as Sean took one step out onto a rock, lost his balance and immediately fell into the river with a healthy splash and a yelp. Viggo immediately scrambled back into a position which might actually be useful to fish Sean out but by that time Sean had resurfaced with a look of thunder and the growing possibility of a fish lurking in his trousers. Spitting out a mouthful of water, Sean slowly began to swim to the other bank.
“ I hate you,” he growled as Viggo bounced off the last of the rocks and immediately ran to help him out of the river. Sean stood in a miserable dripping puddle, wringing the water out of his coat and pulling off his boots to pour a sizable amount of river from his boots. Green eyes that had almost turned black in his grumpiness turned their glare onto Viggo. The older man rubbed his chin.
“ Hmmm. That wasn’t supposed to happen,”
“ Well, that’s something at least,” Sean shook his head like a dog coming out of water and made a remarkably expressive waterfall in his own right. He groaned. “ I’m bloody wet here. No, that’s wrong. I’m fucking wet.”
“ We’ll get you dry,” soothed Viggo, putting hands on Sean’s shoulders and beginning to steer him towards the woods on the other side of the river. Sean felt he was too cold to argue on this steering, but not so cold that he couldn’t grumble a little bit more. He could feel the shiver already settling into his bones, his teeth beginning their journey into castanets territory and his arms wrapped around his chest tightly in a vague attempt to warm himself up.
He was also beginning to get a little tired of the whole forest clearing thing. Viggo had led him to yet another one where no doubt another fire would begin, keeping them stuck out here again for another night of freezing temperatures, no mod cons and the prospect of the bugs getting their revenge. This was about as appealing as a flight in a plane with a wobbly wing, but Viggo being Viggo he had already decided on the course of action. Sean decided to stick his foot down on this.
“ No,” He stood there and dripped, proud and defiant whilst water pooled around his feet.
Viggo looked up from his stick collection and frowned. “ No what?”
“ Just no. Let’s keep going,” Sean picked up his soaking backpack and buckled it on his back. Viggo stared at him as though he had lost his mind.
“ You’re soaking,” he pointed out, a little unnecessarily. Sean merely began to head off in the direction that he thought they had been heading towards, trying to act as though his hair wasn’t plastered to his hair and his trousers weren’t sticking to his thighs and buttocks as though someone had been a little overactive with a tube of glue. Viggo growled behind him and ran to catch him up. Sean allowed himself a small grin. It was actually quite entertaining. Ordinarily Viggo had the patience of an elderly horse with a small child bearing a carrot, and yet currently he appeared to have stolen the growl from a hungry leopard.
Ridiculously smug for someone who was damned cold, Sean continued on his way. They couldn’t be too far away from civilisation and then he could buy warm clothes and food and a bed .. okay, not a bed, but a taxi to a bed, and he could settle down in front of the television and let football caress his furrowed brow. This was how it should be. This was how it would be, goddamit.
“ You need to get out of those wet clothes,” By the tone of voice Viggo was definitely getting pissed off. Sean smirked to himself and increased his speed.
“ No,” he advised.
“ What d’you mean, no?” the frustration was solid enough that it could be used as a house foundation. “ You’re going to catch your death wandering around dripping wet!”
“ Oh good. I was wondering what to do with my evenings,” the blonde continued happily through the woodland, although the occasional bush that grabbed at him spoilt the effect somewhat. Viggo growled again and pulled Sean to an unglamorous halt, his hand not pissing around at all.
“ Get out of the clothing,” Cops normally had the same tone when they told people to put the gun down NOW. Sean stared at him, surprised. He folded his arms and turned to look at him.
“ You’re giving me orders now?” his voice clearly stated what a bad idea this would be. Viggo however didn’t even flinch against the idea of angry Sean, his grey-blue stare stern and almost cold enough to challenge the environment.
“ Either you get out of that clothing or I strip you. Your choice,”
Green eyes narrowed in cold amusement which wasn’t entirely metaphorical. Viggo was getting all territorial and bossy, and that was always entertaining to watch simply because at some point Viggo normally realised that just because the words were issued from his lips didn’t mean that they would turn into fact. In fact, baiting the Viggo was a world class entertainment but it was a dangerous sport. The man gave the impression he was soft and sweet when in fact he was a lurking tiger with a thorn in the paw.
“ I’m going this way. My clothes are staying with me. We clear?” Sean defined the situation.
They eyeballed each other for a few moments before Sean snorted and turned to go again. Turning his back on Viggo proved to be a bad idea when suddenly a cannonball of Mortensen energy hit his lower body and rolled them both on the ground. Sean hissed like an angry cat but he wasn’t quick enough to shove Viggo off him; he found himself flat on his back with Viggo straddling his thighs, hands hard enough to almost hurt on Sean’s wrists and a light blue gaze inches away from angry green.
“ Right,” Viggo said calmly, and shifted his weight as Sean bucked against him angrily. “ let’s get this straight. You are not going to wander off in freezing cold wet clothes. You are not going to aimlessly walk in one direction in the hope that it’s the right one. And you are not going to cheek me. We clear on that, Seanie?”
“ Vig, if I wasn’t a nice guy I’d be calling you a stupid fuckwit right about now,” snarled Sean.
“ That’s not a yes, Sean,” Viggo rode out the bucking again calmly.
“ Okay. Calling you a stupid damned fuckwit,” the snarl managed to get a little lower. “ Get off me,”
“ Still not a yes,” Viggo reminded him softly. “ Start behaving yourself,”
Sean struggled against the weight on his legs and the grip on his wrists but got exactly nowhere. Today was getting worse and worse and now he wasn’t even getting any exercise the damned temperature was beginning to get problematic. He snarled once more.
“ I’m not walking around this damned place stark naked, Viggo!”
“ I’m not asking you to do that. You get my coat and you get a kilt,” Viggo’s voice was reason itself. Sean opened his mouth to protest again then shut it with a click as the words processed through his mind.
“ Kilt?” he repeated dubiously.
“ Kilt,”
“ Is it formed out of tartan and has a sporran?” Sean raised an eyebrow. “ Because if it doesn’t, then it’s not a kilt and therefore there’s no damned way I’m wearing a skirt,”
“ Tell you what. You wear the thing, we’ll dry off your clothes and then apologise to all those Scots who are obviously hidden in the trees watching us,” replied Viggo dryly. “ So if you want to shut the fuck up and strip, then we can get on with it. If not, we’re gonna be here for a while,”
“ We’ve been here before, Vig. I still can’t strip if you’re sitting on me.” Sean’s voice was dry enough that camels would feel right at home. “ Move your arse,”
“ Is that a yes?” Viggo wasn’t about to start letting the argument go just because Sean had steered the conversation back onto past sexual situations. Sean sighed and growled softly.
“ Fine,” he gritted out. “ Just get off me,”
Viggo gave him a kiss and finally rolled off him, standing up and stretching. He eyed the extremely grumpy Sean with the smallest of grins and started moving off to find some sticks rather than watch the wettest striptease known to man. After scavenging for a while, Viggo dumped the wood in front of Sean and raised his eyebrows at the fact that in this time Sean had still only managed to get his boots off.
“ Sean, I know you can get undressed in less time than it takes a shark to spot a fish,” he remarked idly. “ Hurry up,”
“ My fingers are cold,” protested Sean. Viggo sighed and stepped back towards him, but Sean retreated for a few steps and looked back at him. “ I can do it,”
“ Then do it, for God’s sake!” Viggo folded his arms and watched as clothing finally hit the floor. He nodded and bent to his own backpack which thankfully was the one that the picnic blanket had been put into. Sean looked dubious as Viggo supplied him with blanket, a safety pin from the vague first aid kit that Viggo always brought with him on this sort of thing, and the t-shirt and coat off Viggo’s own back.
“ This is crazy,” Sean had put on the t-shirt and coat and was eying the picnic blanket warily. “ It’s going to be a skirt,”
“ Think kilt. Manly skirts,” offered Viggo, waving his hand towards said piece of material. “ Come on, put it on,”
“ It’s going to be damned cold! It’s got holes in!” protested Sean, who was wrapping it around himself anyway with a dubious expression.
“ Yes it does. That’s where your legs come out of,” explained Viggo patiently. “ Difficult to move otherwise,”
Sean looked down at himself and was suddenly extremely thankful that there wasn’t much in the way of traffic about. He looked like someone who had been caught short on a picnic, although it wasn’t actually as cold as he had assumed. The blanket was at least warm, even if his legs were on display to anyone who cared to look.
“ I feel like the world’s oldest schoolgirl,” he grumbled. Viggo laughed to himself and stared messing around with the fire whilst Sean fussed with the hemline of the picnic blanket. Finally the clothes were put on natural hangers and were drying, the younger man perched awkwardly on a log trying to make sure the bottom of the kilt/skirt/thing remained at the bottom rather than flash his privates at any creature that cared to look.
“ That was the only river that we need to cross,” Viggo explained, busying himself with the fire and listening to the wood crackle whilst burning. “ After this point it’s just walking until we hit the nearest house and then we can order a taxi or something. Your wallet should dry out soon,” he added to the grumbling Sean.
“ I hate the outdoors,”
“ Based on what’s been happening, I think its mutual,” commented Viggo and rolled his eyes. “ We’ll go somewhere indoors next time, ok? I won’t be doing any forest walks for at least a fortnight,”
“ Two weeks?!” Sean’s head snapped up. “ You have to be fucking kidding me, mate. I might – might consider going out for a walk but after at least three months of ‘boring’ stuff. If I wanted to go crazy, I’d be with the hobbits,”
Viggo sat back and tapped his leg with a stick, considering him for a little longer than normal.
” Okay, what’s up with you?” he asked finally. “ Sulking I’m used to but you’re going a little too far,”
“ Too far?!” exploded Sean. “ I’m sitting here, cold, wet, in a skirt-“
“-kilt-,” chimed in Viggo, sweet as ice-cream.
“- with no dinner on the horizon and sleeping on a floor that even the badgers have given up on! Personally I don’t think I’ve taken it far enough!” Sean folded his arms across his chest. Viggo narrowed his eyes and sat up again. The tension was too much for Sean after a while.
“ What?” he said suspiciously.
“ Nothing,” his voice mild, Viggo went back to the fire. Sean’s eyes narrowed even further. Viggo and mildness normally indicated something nasty going on at the back of his mind.
“ Nothing?” Sean probed further, poking at the suspicion like a tongue at a sore tooth. Viggo scratched the back of his head with a hand and let the stick drop on the fire.
“ Well….,” the well was dragged out. Finally Viggo shook his head and turned back to the growing fire. “ Nothing,”
“ Bollocks,” returned Sean. “ Utter bollocks,”
“ If you don’t stop swearing I’m going to get upset,” the voice was bordering warning, a soft sound which was pretty much the same as hearing the gentle rattle of a rattlesnake’s tail. Sean’s head lifted a little more. Viggo upset was actually quite impressive, like the Northern Lights except a little less flashy and more prone for sarcasm, and wasn’t something to be sniffed, sneezed or anything else normally associated with a cold at.
“ Sorry,” he said sulkily. “ It’s hard to be sweet when you’re in a skirt and frozen half to death,”
“ I’m sorry you fell into the river, Sean. Let that be the end of it,” the warning rattle got a little louder, blue gaze turned onto him. Sean opened his mouth to comment and thought better of it, shutting his mouth and turning his gaze to the fire. Viggo watched him for a moment, then nodded, satisfied. “ Right. I’ll go find dinner and we can start cooking,”
Sean perked up a little more. “ Dinner?” Dinner was good. Dinner involved food. Dinner normally involved a full belly as well.
“ Dinner,” Viggo stood up and dusted off his hands. “ I’ll be back within an hour or so, I’d imagine,”
There was a frown in Viggo’s general direction. “ So I’m not coming along?”
“ Let’s just say it might get a bit messy,” Viggo advised. Sean’s eyebrow raised a little more. Messy and dinner just suggested … well, things that he didn’t really want to get involved with. However, Viggo was obviously not just interested in disturbing him with dinner plans. “ And we have to be able to do the last push for tomorrow. Need your energy,”
Pushing for tomorrow was not something that Sean wanted to hear and quite clearly by the look in Viggo’s eye he was expecting Sean to bite. Growling, the blonde lowered his head and focused on the fire a little more. He could ignore it. It was going to have to happen, after all. The corner of Viggo’s mouth lifted briefly, and he turned to go. Sean struggled to keep his tongue under control. He really did. But fate was apparently not on his side.
“ So what are we doing tomorrow?” he asked softly.
“ Same thing we do every night, Pinkie. Try to take over the world,” Viggo tossed over his shoulder and grinned again as he could almost hear Sean’s eyebrow hit Jupiter. Obviously Sean wasn’t much of a cartoon fan. “ We’re going to walk until we find civilisation, Sean. One last push,”
“ They say that a lot to pregnant women and it’s normally not right there either,” pointed out Sean.
“ What, walking until they find civilisation? Sounds somewhat mean,” he grinned a little more and sighed at the little cold front coming from Sean. Obviously someone’s knickers were in a twist which weren’t getting untwisted by jokes. Viggo turned and looked over his shoulder mildly. “ Something you want to say, Sean?”
They eyed each other for a moment. Finally Sean growled and looked away. Viggo raised his eyebrow and turned slowly on his heel, wandering back and cupping Sean’s already stubbly chin in his hand, bringing his head round to look in his eyes.
“ You know, you and behaving seem not to be talking to each other anymore,” Viggo gave a little smile. Sean scowled.
“ Thought you had some hunting to do?”
“ Sean, darling, this is the bit where you shush and look apologetic and you might, you just might, get away with this,” he said softly, brushing his thumb down Sean’s cheek. However, the scowl wasn’t exactly going away from Sean’s eyes regardless of how much he was trying. One second went past.
Two.
Three.
Four was destined never to happen. Like Popeye, there was only so much Sean could stand before the can of spinach was grabbed, regardless of whether he liked greens. A grumpy expression aimed itself firmly at Viggo.
“ I,” he said with exaggerated patience. “ haven’t done anything I need to apologise for.”
“ Is that right?”
“ That’s right,”
Five seconds were spent simply looking at each other before Viggo grabbed his arm and yanked him to his feet, pushing him to a nearby tree and pretty much getting directly in his face. Sean looked at him incredulously then gave a little shove back, the impressive ‘hard man’ image somewhat ruined by the skirt and the fact that a tree’s branch was shoved in the small of his back and threatening to rip off the picnic blanket. Blue-grey eyes were inches away from his own furious green gaze, Viggo almost calm personified.
Almost. Not quite. Nothing could hide the anger that was so clear in his eyes. Sean stared at him for a moment, realising that perhaps this hadn’t been the greatest of ideas when Viggo’s mouth pressed against his own, hard, hungry and demanding. Sean was aware of a hand sliding up his thigh and almost yelped like a suddenly buggered maiden aunt. The tree behind him stopped any retreat, and Viggo’s hard body was in front of him like a bookend.
“ This your answer for everything?” complained Sean as he finally broke off the kiss, panting hard.
Viggo stared at him for a moment, then shook his head. “ Think we need to establish the chain of command a little more, don’t you?” his voice was soft. “ Turn around,”
Sean’s mouth was open but no sound came out.
“ You have to be fucking kidding me-OW!!!” the yelp couldn’t be resisted as Viggo’s hand burrowed under the kilt and pinched Sean’s right buttock hard. Viggo’s eyebrow raised in a silent query whether Sean was going to misbehave further. There was a scowl, a glare, a lip that was bitten hard, and finally Sean shoved him backwards.
“ Well, give me a bit of space for Chrissakes,” he grumbled and slowly turned, putting his hands on the trunk of the tree and resisting the urge to shiver and look over his shoulder. Viggo watched him for a moment, then wrapped an arm around Sean’s slim waist and pulled. This time it wasn’t so much a yelp but a gasp as Sean nearly fell over forwards, his hands gripping hold of the trunk whilst the gap between his legs and the tree increased to the point where he was almost bent over.
Gasping, he glanced over his shoulder. He didn’t dare move on the basis that Viggo’s arm was still wrapped around him, grey-blue stare looking at him steadily.
“ Vig-,”
“ No talking,” Viggo’s voice was brisk, his arm moving away in order to flick up the hem of the skirt/kilt thing onto Sean’s back. Sudden coldness hit Sean’s backside, the blonde hissing through clenched teeth. Chain of Command was all very well but his balls were going to freeze if this continued.
“ Vig- OW!” There was a solid slap to the right buttock, the coldness making the stinging that much worse. Sean stared over his shoulder incredulously and tried to stand up but a hand suddenly in the small of his back pushed him back down again.
“ No talking. No standing. No anything not already agreed by me. Come on Sean, you’re not that dim,” Viggo’s voice was mild but his hand was anything but. Sean snarled internally but didn’t say a word. Viggo had done this sort of game before which had been remarkably fun but then again it had been in the middle of a centrally heated room. In the freezing cold, up against a tree was another matter entirely.
Viggo waited for a few moments just to make sure Sean wasn’t about to do anything silly before slowly sliding his hand over the round firm and cold muscle of the man’s backside and then even further down to tease between Sean’s legs. As he had guessed regardless of how furious Sean currently was it didn’t take long before the teasing did its job, a soft desperate growl in the back of Sean’s throat accompanying the greatest erection known to man since the building of the pyramids. Viggo grinned to himself. Sean was nicely predictable which was just as well. His own groin was throbbing badly and he doubted whether it could survive the length of time of a general Sean sulk.
On the other hand, the possibilities that it might have to suddenly increased dramatically as Sean reared up and pushed back, swivelling round and pulling them both to the forest floor which was thankfully free of stones and rocks. Rolling, both trying to use their weight to win the battle, Sean ended up straddled over Viggo and looking down at him with his hands tight over Viggo’s wrists.
There was a little Bean smirk, slow, satisfied, and definitely looking for trouble.
“ Right,” breathed Sean. “ Let’s talk about that chain of Command, eh?”
Trouble, it seemed, had been located.
TBC
Chapter Three: The Kilt and the River
Author: Foofy
Rating: NC17
Pairing: SB/VM
Summary: Sean discovers that his definition of a bridge differs from Viggo’s
Additional notes: This chapter was written for the Kilt Porn Challenge for
adventures_in. *
There were many things Sean could call Viggo – some of which were remarkably crude on occasion – but certainly he wasn’t a liar. Ordinarily this would have been a good thing, a sign of trust and happiness and everything else that Star Trek liked to promote. However, ordinary situations did not include a bloody large river and the probability of getting damned wet.
Sean sat on an overhanging rock and looked at it. Deep. Not exactly fast but certainly not a mild current either, with slopes either side and random plant life ruining the knowledge of exactly where the edge of said river started. No ducks or waterfowl bobbed up and down on this water’s surface, possibly due to the fact that they’d more than likely get an extremely cold backside from this type of behaviour given the weather. And the cherry on the cake had to be the fact that there were no crossing points on said river either.
That was, of course, unless your name happened to be Viggo. Where Sean saw deep, cold water, Viggo saw the beauty of nature. Where Sean saw an absence of anything sensible to cross over, Viggo saw opportunities. Where Sean was practical, Viggo was an optimistic little git.
Well, that was Sean’ viewpoint anyway. Never go anywhere who actively enjoyed sleeping in the wilderness, they had obviously walloped their head somewhere in childhood. And certainly never listen to their opinions that things were only a minor inconvenience. Forgetting to post a card was inconvenient. Drowning was definitely on the list of Serious Issue.
Another factor on the list of Serious Issue was the subject of poisoning. This again was not something that Sean had ever considered to be a major part of his relationship with Viggo, assuming that Viggo’s annoying habit of taking over a room when he was painting would have caused more trouble and strife, but apparently it was feeling left out of the general situation and wanted to make its point known. Poisoning had turned up as a Serious Issue when breakfast had been considered. Viggo hadn’t been joking when he was talking about gathering for their food, and suddenly several unidentifiable strange items had landed on his plate when he had finally woken. Apparently they were a mix of shoots, leaves, random fungus, and something else, all happily cooked together to make a general blot on the landscape of cuisine. The berries were better, but on the whole Sean could have happily done without any of it.
“ You feeling a little more welcoming?” Viggo had snuck up on him whilst Sean was musing to himself and was watching him with a weary expression. Sean sighed to himself. It was hardly Viggo’s fault that they were… actually, scratch that. Sean’s ideas for yesterday had included staying in a pub drinking lager. However, Viggo had been trying to increase their foodstuffs which was actually pretty decent of him, considering. A break could be given.
“ Yeah,” he said reluctantly, turning to look at the river again. “ Sorry,”
There was a little amused noise behind him. “ It’s ok, I know what you’re like before eating something in the morning. Here,” Something unidentifiable was pushed under his nose. Sean moved his head to be able to focus on it, and glanced at Viggo when it was clear said ‘food’ was in some sort of packaging. Viggo grinned ruefully. “ Health bar,”
Sean’s eyebrows went up high enough to cause an obstruction to low flying aircraft. He took the bar gingerly as though expecting it to suddenly explode on him, and looked at Viggo again.
“ I thought we didn’t have any food?” he asked slowly. Viggo shrugged and offered another rueful smile at this.
“ We have some emergency supplies. I’d prefer to have a non-sulking Sean at my side than a grumpy one at my heels,” he glanced towards the river. “ So, you up for wetness?”
However, Sean wasn’t focusing on the river. He stared at Viggo incredulously and waved the health bar thing – which appeared to have nothing to do with health and everything to do with advertising – in a way of drawing Viggo’s attention back to the point in literal hand.
“ You’re giving up your last health bar for me?”
“ Well, it’s not exactly my last health bar, but for the sake of it sounding romantic, yes, yes I have,” Viggo smiled at him and ruffled Sean’s blonde hair affectionately. “ Can’t have you starving on me, after all. You’d be difficult to order around otherwise,”
Sean grinned at him and began to eat without further ado. He’d never been a fan of the whole ‘meal in a bar’ situation that seemed to be advertised as some sort of alternative to a breakfast, but then again there was no bar in the world that was going to be able to even challenge the might which was a bacon sarnie with HP sauce. And said bar certainly wasn’t a mushroom or anything vaguely scavenged which was even better.
Viggo gave a little stab of the thumb towards the river as Sean demolished the bar.
“ River,” he reminded him. Green eyes glanced up in surprise then glanced towards the river as though it was a brand new thing on his horizon. Sean looked back at Viggo dubiously.
“ But we’re going around it, yes?” his voice cleared showed his opinion of any comment which didn’t start with the word yes. Viggo however wasn’t listening to him, having wandered to the water’s edge and dipped his hand into the river. Sean sighed. “ Viggo,”
“ Hmmmm?” Viggo splashed the water a little with his hand.
“ I’m not crossing that damned river on anything but a bridge,”
“ Of course,” Viggo still had the tone of someone whose mind really wasn’t on the conversation, or possibly the soothing tones of a parent swearing that their target destination was ‘just around the corner’. Sean’s eyes narrowed even further to the extent that the world was suddenly a panoramic picture.
“ I mean it,” he warned.
“ We’ll find a bridge, no problem,” Viggo smiled at him and hoisted the backpack onto his back again, passing Sean his own. “ Come on, sweetheart,”
That was a little too easy. Viggo didn’t do too easy, it wasn’t in his contract and therefore warning bells rang to the point where they were deafening. Sean stared after him suspiciously before slinging his own backpack onto his back and following with a sulky little pout already in place. Well, you might as well start as you meant to go on and Sean had a suspicion that he was going to get sulkier before the bridge was sighted.
And he was right.
“ Please don’t tell me that’s the bridge?” Sean stared at the fallen tree across the river and then looked back at Viggo who had a pleased dog-with-bone expression. Viggo shrugged with his eyebrows and waved a hand toward the fallen wood.
“ It gets across it, doesn’t it?” his voice was pure reason. Sean snorted and squinted across the river, finally looking back again in disbelief.
“ It doesn’t even do that! It stops half way and then you have to bounce from rock to rock to get to the other side without hitting the branches!” he protested. “ That’s not a bridge in my book,”
“ You have books? I’m impressed,” Viggo was already navigating his way onto the trunk of the tree, avoiding the roots that had been ripped up by the force of the tree falling and wobbling to stand upright. He sighed again in satisfaction and put his hands on his hips, looking down the river and looking nothing so much as a pirate who was looking for his missing ship.
Sean gave the ‘bridge’ another suspicious look. The bridge, at least, didn’t look back but he was certain there were a lot of really pissed off animals due to the damned thing falling over. This was the type of bridge that a troll should sit under waiting for the unwary goats to trip trap over, although with this particular bridge it might be better if said troll just smeared butter over part of the trunk and waited for said goats to slide off.
“ This is idiotic,” he protested after a moment of Viggo not paying him any attention whatsoever. “ That is not a bridge!”
“ Sean, just stop whining and get your pretty little arse over here. Don’t tell me you never climbed trees when you were a kid,”
“ I climbed trees but they were vertical at the time!!”
“ Well then. This is easier. Gravity doesn’t get involved,” Viggo glanced down to the water underneath him and shrugged. “ Well, much anyway. Stop being a worrywart,”
“ I am NOT a worrywart!” Sean was stung by the injustice of the label.
“ I think you are,” replied Viggo cheerfully in a singsong voice that normally accompanied sticky children who had more cookies than sense.
“ Oh fuck off,” growled Sean and gingerly began to climb up the roots to balance uncertainly on the trunk itself. He looked up and wobbled across the trunk, arms outstretched like a tightrope walker balancing on the world’s fattest rope. Viggo watched him in amusement.
“ You know,” he commented after a while. “ That’s probably the sweetest thing I’ve seen for a long time, ignoring Orlando’s whole bunny suit thing,”
Sean looked up long enough to give him a scowl worthy of a crocodile with indigestion, then looked back at his feet just in case they were going somewhere he hadn’t approved. He slowly shuffled along a little more, trying not to think of the acrobatic bit that was coming up at the end with the rocks. This was a stupid idea. This was a stupid landscape. Hell, this was a stupid day. No health bar was worth this.
Finally he got to the point where he had to slide off the tree and onto the rocks. Viggo had already managed to do this although even he had to bend down to grab hold of handholds in order to navigate his way across the makeshift stepping stones. Half way across he paused to wait for Sean, out of his way but not too far that he couldn’t help.
“ Come on, Sean,” he said softly.
“ I’m not a dog, Vig,” came the cross response. Sean shuffled a little further and sat down on the trunk, dubiously looking at the rocks underneath him. Green eyes raised to look even more dubiously at grey-blue ones. Viggo smiled winningly.
“ You can do it, Seanie. You’ve done worse than this,”
“ I know. This doesn’t mean I liked any of it,” pointed out Sean with a sulky pout which he absolutely hated but knew it was worthwhile under the circumstances. Viggo grinned and slapped the rock he was stood on with a hand.
“ Here, boy,” A whistle was added to the end of the call.
“ And you can fuck right off with that as well,” advised Sean even more sulkily. “ If I was supposed to bounce from tree to rock to tree I would have been born with bright eyes and a bushy tail. Furthermore-,”
Unfortunately Viggo was not to hear what the furthermore part was as Sean took one step out onto a rock, lost his balance and immediately fell into the river with a healthy splash and a yelp. Viggo immediately scrambled back into a position which might actually be useful to fish Sean out but by that time Sean had resurfaced with a look of thunder and the growing possibility of a fish lurking in his trousers. Spitting out a mouthful of water, Sean slowly began to swim to the other bank.
“ I hate you,” he growled as Viggo bounced off the last of the rocks and immediately ran to help him out of the river. Sean stood in a miserable dripping puddle, wringing the water out of his coat and pulling off his boots to pour a sizable amount of river from his boots. Green eyes that had almost turned black in his grumpiness turned their glare onto Viggo. The older man rubbed his chin.
“ Hmmm. That wasn’t supposed to happen,”
“ Well, that’s something at least,” Sean shook his head like a dog coming out of water and made a remarkably expressive waterfall in his own right. He groaned. “ I’m bloody wet here. No, that’s wrong. I’m fucking wet.”
“ We’ll get you dry,” soothed Viggo, putting hands on Sean’s shoulders and beginning to steer him towards the woods on the other side of the river. Sean felt he was too cold to argue on this steering, but not so cold that he couldn’t grumble a little bit more. He could feel the shiver already settling into his bones, his teeth beginning their journey into castanets territory and his arms wrapped around his chest tightly in a vague attempt to warm himself up.
He was also beginning to get a little tired of the whole forest clearing thing. Viggo had led him to yet another one where no doubt another fire would begin, keeping them stuck out here again for another night of freezing temperatures, no mod cons and the prospect of the bugs getting their revenge. This was about as appealing as a flight in a plane with a wobbly wing, but Viggo being Viggo he had already decided on the course of action. Sean decided to stick his foot down on this.
“ No,” He stood there and dripped, proud and defiant whilst water pooled around his feet.
Viggo looked up from his stick collection and frowned. “ No what?”
“ Just no. Let’s keep going,” Sean picked up his soaking backpack and buckled it on his back. Viggo stared at him as though he had lost his mind.
“ You’re soaking,” he pointed out, a little unnecessarily. Sean merely began to head off in the direction that he thought they had been heading towards, trying to act as though his hair wasn’t plastered to his hair and his trousers weren’t sticking to his thighs and buttocks as though someone had been a little overactive with a tube of glue. Viggo growled behind him and ran to catch him up. Sean allowed himself a small grin. It was actually quite entertaining. Ordinarily Viggo had the patience of an elderly horse with a small child bearing a carrot, and yet currently he appeared to have stolen the growl from a hungry leopard.
Ridiculously smug for someone who was damned cold, Sean continued on his way. They couldn’t be too far away from civilisation and then he could buy warm clothes and food and a bed .. okay, not a bed, but a taxi to a bed, and he could settle down in front of the television and let football caress his furrowed brow. This was how it should be. This was how it would be, goddamit.
“ You need to get out of those wet clothes,” By the tone of voice Viggo was definitely getting pissed off. Sean smirked to himself and increased his speed.
“ No,” he advised.
“ What d’you mean, no?” the frustration was solid enough that it could be used as a house foundation. “ You’re going to catch your death wandering around dripping wet!”
“ Oh good. I was wondering what to do with my evenings,” the blonde continued happily through the woodland, although the occasional bush that grabbed at him spoilt the effect somewhat. Viggo growled again and pulled Sean to an unglamorous halt, his hand not pissing around at all.
“ Get out of the clothing,” Cops normally had the same tone when they told people to put the gun down NOW. Sean stared at him, surprised. He folded his arms and turned to look at him.
“ You’re giving me orders now?” his voice clearly stated what a bad idea this would be. Viggo however didn’t even flinch against the idea of angry Sean, his grey-blue stare stern and almost cold enough to challenge the environment.
“ Either you get out of that clothing or I strip you. Your choice,”
Green eyes narrowed in cold amusement which wasn’t entirely metaphorical. Viggo was getting all territorial and bossy, and that was always entertaining to watch simply because at some point Viggo normally realised that just because the words were issued from his lips didn’t mean that they would turn into fact. In fact, baiting the Viggo was a world class entertainment but it was a dangerous sport. The man gave the impression he was soft and sweet when in fact he was a lurking tiger with a thorn in the paw.
“ I’m going this way. My clothes are staying with me. We clear?” Sean defined the situation.
They eyeballed each other for a few moments before Sean snorted and turned to go again. Turning his back on Viggo proved to be a bad idea when suddenly a cannonball of Mortensen energy hit his lower body and rolled them both on the ground. Sean hissed like an angry cat but he wasn’t quick enough to shove Viggo off him; he found himself flat on his back with Viggo straddling his thighs, hands hard enough to almost hurt on Sean’s wrists and a light blue gaze inches away from angry green.
“ Right,” Viggo said calmly, and shifted his weight as Sean bucked against him angrily. “ let’s get this straight. You are not going to wander off in freezing cold wet clothes. You are not going to aimlessly walk in one direction in the hope that it’s the right one. And you are not going to cheek me. We clear on that, Seanie?”
“ Vig, if I wasn’t a nice guy I’d be calling you a stupid fuckwit right about now,” snarled Sean.
“ That’s not a yes, Sean,” Viggo rode out the bucking again calmly.
“ Okay. Calling you a stupid damned fuckwit,” the snarl managed to get a little lower. “ Get off me,”
“ Still not a yes,” Viggo reminded him softly. “ Start behaving yourself,”
Sean struggled against the weight on his legs and the grip on his wrists but got exactly nowhere. Today was getting worse and worse and now he wasn’t even getting any exercise the damned temperature was beginning to get problematic. He snarled once more.
“ I’m not walking around this damned place stark naked, Viggo!”
“ I’m not asking you to do that. You get my coat and you get a kilt,” Viggo’s voice was reason itself. Sean opened his mouth to protest again then shut it with a click as the words processed through his mind.
“ Kilt?” he repeated dubiously.
“ Kilt,”
“ Is it formed out of tartan and has a sporran?” Sean raised an eyebrow. “ Because if it doesn’t, then it’s not a kilt and therefore there’s no damned way I’m wearing a skirt,”
“ Tell you what. You wear the thing, we’ll dry off your clothes and then apologise to all those Scots who are obviously hidden in the trees watching us,” replied Viggo dryly. “ So if you want to shut the fuck up and strip, then we can get on with it. If not, we’re gonna be here for a while,”
“ We’ve been here before, Vig. I still can’t strip if you’re sitting on me.” Sean’s voice was dry enough that camels would feel right at home. “ Move your arse,”
“ Is that a yes?” Viggo wasn’t about to start letting the argument go just because Sean had steered the conversation back onto past sexual situations. Sean sighed and growled softly.
“ Fine,” he gritted out. “ Just get off me,”
Viggo gave him a kiss and finally rolled off him, standing up and stretching. He eyed the extremely grumpy Sean with the smallest of grins and started moving off to find some sticks rather than watch the wettest striptease known to man. After scavenging for a while, Viggo dumped the wood in front of Sean and raised his eyebrows at the fact that in this time Sean had still only managed to get his boots off.
“ Sean, I know you can get undressed in less time than it takes a shark to spot a fish,” he remarked idly. “ Hurry up,”
“ My fingers are cold,” protested Sean. Viggo sighed and stepped back towards him, but Sean retreated for a few steps and looked back at him. “ I can do it,”
“ Then do it, for God’s sake!” Viggo folded his arms and watched as clothing finally hit the floor. He nodded and bent to his own backpack which thankfully was the one that the picnic blanket had been put into. Sean looked dubious as Viggo supplied him with blanket, a safety pin from the vague first aid kit that Viggo always brought with him on this sort of thing, and the t-shirt and coat off Viggo’s own back.
“ This is crazy,” Sean had put on the t-shirt and coat and was eying the picnic blanket warily. “ It’s going to be a skirt,”
“ Think kilt. Manly skirts,” offered Viggo, waving his hand towards said piece of material. “ Come on, put it on,”
“ It’s going to be damned cold! It’s got holes in!” protested Sean, who was wrapping it around himself anyway with a dubious expression.
“ Yes it does. That’s where your legs come out of,” explained Viggo patiently. “ Difficult to move otherwise,”
Sean looked down at himself and was suddenly extremely thankful that there wasn’t much in the way of traffic about. He looked like someone who had been caught short on a picnic, although it wasn’t actually as cold as he had assumed. The blanket was at least warm, even if his legs were on display to anyone who cared to look.
“ I feel like the world’s oldest schoolgirl,” he grumbled. Viggo laughed to himself and stared messing around with the fire whilst Sean fussed with the hemline of the picnic blanket. Finally the clothes were put on natural hangers and were drying, the younger man perched awkwardly on a log trying to make sure the bottom of the kilt/skirt/thing remained at the bottom rather than flash his privates at any creature that cared to look.
“ That was the only river that we need to cross,” Viggo explained, busying himself with the fire and listening to the wood crackle whilst burning. “ After this point it’s just walking until we hit the nearest house and then we can order a taxi or something. Your wallet should dry out soon,” he added to the grumbling Sean.
“ I hate the outdoors,”
“ Based on what’s been happening, I think its mutual,” commented Viggo and rolled his eyes. “ We’ll go somewhere indoors next time, ok? I won’t be doing any forest walks for at least a fortnight,”
“ Two weeks?!” Sean’s head snapped up. “ You have to be fucking kidding me, mate. I might – might consider going out for a walk but after at least three months of ‘boring’ stuff. If I wanted to go crazy, I’d be with the hobbits,”
Viggo sat back and tapped his leg with a stick, considering him for a little longer than normal.
” Okay, what’s up with you?” he asked finally. “ Sulking I’m used to but you’re going a little too far,”
“ Too far?!” exploded Sean. “ I’m sitting here, cold, wet, in a skirt-“
“-kilt-,” chimed in Viggo, sweet as ice-cream.
“- with no dinner on the horizon and sleeping on a floor that even the badgers have given up on! Personally I don’t think I’ve taken it far enough!” Sean folded his arms across his chest. Viggo narrowed his eyes and sat up again. The tension was too much for Sean after a while.
“ What?” he said suspiciously.
“ Nothing,” his voice mild, Viggo went back to the fire. Sean’s eyes narrowed even further. Viggo and mildness normally indicated something nasty going on at the back of his mind.
“ Nothing?” Sean probed further, poking at the suspicion like a tongue at a sore tooth. Viggo scratched the back of his head with a hand and let the stick drop on the fire.
“ Well….,” the well was dragged out. Finally Viggo shook his head and turned back to the growing fire. “ Nothing,”
“ Bollocks,” returned Sean. “ Utter bollocks,”
“ If you don’t stop swearing I’m going to get upset,” the voice was bordering warning, a soft sound which was pretty much the same as hearing the gentle rattle of a rattlesnake’s tail. Sean’s head lifted a little more. Viggo upset was actually quite impressive, like the Northern Lights except a little less flashy and more prone for sarcasm, and wasn’t something to be sniffed, sneezed or anything else normally associated with a cold at.
“ Sorry,” he said sulkily. “ It’s hard to be sweet when you’re in a skirt and frozen half to death,”
“ I’m sorry you fell into the river, Sean. Let that be the end of it,” the warning rattle got a little louder, blue gaze turned onto him. Sean opened his mouth to comment and thought better of it, shutting his mouth and turning his gaze to the fire. Viggo watched him for a moment, then nodded, satisfied. “ Right. I’ll go find dinner and we can start cooking,”
Sean perked up a little more. “ Dinner?” Dinner was good. Dinner involved food. Dinner normally involved a full belly as well.
“ Dinner,” Viggo stood up and dusted off his hands. “ I’ll be back within an hour or so, I’d imagine,”
There was a frown in Viggo’s general direction. “ So I’m not coming along?”
“ Let’s just say it might get a bit messy,” Viggo advised. Sean’s eyebrow raised a little more. Messy and dinner just suggested … well, things that he didn’t really want to get involved with. However, Viggo was obviously not just interested in disturbing him with dinner plans. “ And we have to be able to do the last push for tomorrow. Need your energy,”
Pushing for tomorrow was not something that Sean wanted to hear and quite clearly by the look in Viggo’s eye he was expecting Sean to bite. Growling, the blonde lowered his head and focused on the fire a little more. He could ignore it. It was going to have to happen, after all. The corner of Viggo’s mouth lifted briefly, and he turned to go. Sean struggled to keep his tongue under control. He really did. But fate was apparently not on his side.
“ So what are we doing tomorrow?” he asked softly.
“ Same thing we do every night, Pinkie. Try to take over the world,” Viggo tossed over his shoulder and grinned again as he could almost hear Sean’s eyebrow hit Jupiter. Obviously Sean wasn’t much of a cartoon fan. “ We’re going to walk until we find civilisation, Sean. One last push,”
“ They say that a lot to pregnant women and it’s normally not right there either,” pointed out Sean.
“ What, walking until they find civilisation? Sounds somewhat mean,” he grinned a little more and sighed at the little cold front coming from Sean. Obviously someone’s knickers were in a twist which weren’t getting untwisted by jokes. Viggo turned and looked over his shoulder mildly. “ Something you want to say, Sean?”
They eyed each other for a moment. Finally Sean growled and looked away. Viggo raised his eyebrow and turned slowly on his heel, wandering back and cupping Sean’s already stubbly chin in his hand, bringing his head round to look in his eyes.
“ You know, you and behaving seem not to be talking to each other anymore,” Viggo gave a little smile. Sean scowled.
“ Thought you had some hunting to do?”
“ Sean, darling, this is the bit where you shush and look apologetic and you might, you just might, get away with this,” he said softly, brushing his thumb down Sean’s cheek. However, the scowl wasn’t exactly going away from Sean’s eyes regardless of how much he was trying. One second went past.
Two.
Three.
Four was destined never to happen. Like Popeye, there was only so much Sean could stand before the can of spinach was grabbed, regardless of whether he liked greens. A grumpy expression aimed itself firmly at Viggo.
“ I,” he said with exaggerated patience. “ haven’t done anything I need to apologise for.”
“ Is that right?”
“ That’s right,”
Five seconds were spent simply looking at each other before Viggo grabbed his arm and yanked him to his feet, pushing him to a nearby tree and pretty much getting directly in his face. Sean looked at him incredulously then gave a little shove back, the impressive ‘hard man’ image somewhat ruined by the skirt and the fact that a tree’s branch was shoved in the small of his back and threatening to rip off the picnic blanket. Blue-grey eyes were inches away from his own furious green gaze, Viggo almost calm personified.
Almost. Not quite. Nothing could hide the anger that was so clear in his eyes. Sean stared at him for a moment, realising that perhaps this hadn’t been the greatest of ideas when Viggo’s mouth pressed against his own, hard, hungry and demanding. Sean was aware of a hand sliding up his thigh and almost yelped like a suddenly buggered maiden aunt. The tree behind him stopped any retreat, and Viggo’s hard body was in front of him like a bookend.
“ This your answer for everything?” complained Sean as he finally broke off the kiss, panting hard.
Viggo stared at him for a moment, then shook his head. “ Think we need to establish the chain of command a little more, don’t you?” his voice was soft. “ Turn around,”
Sean’s mouth was open but no sound came out.
“ You have to be fucking kidding me-OW!!!” the yelp couldn’t be resisted as Viggo’s hand burrowed under the kilt and pinched Sean’s right buttock hard. Viggo’s eyebrow raised in a silent query whether Sean was going to misbehave further. There was a scowl, a glare, a lip that was bitten hard, and finally Sean shoved him backwards.
“ Well, give me a bit of space for Chrissakes,” he grumbled and slowly turned, putting his hands on the trunk of the tree and resisting the urge to shiver and look over his shoulder. Viggo watched him for a moment, then wrapped an arm around Sean’s slim waist and pulled. This time it wasn’t so much a yelp but a gasp as Sean nearly fell over forwards, his hands gripping hold of the trunk whilst the gap between his legs and the tree increased to the point where he was almost bent over.
Gasping, he glanced over his shoulder. He didn’t dare move on the basis that Viggo’s arm was still wrapped around him, grey-blue stare looking at him steadily.
“ Vig-,”
“ No talking,” Viggo’s voice was brisk, his arm moving away in order to flick up the hem of the skirt/kilt thing onto Sean’s back. Sudden coldness hit Sean’s backside, the blonde hissing through clenched teeth. Chain of Command was all very well but his balls were going to freeze if this continued.
“ Vig- OW!” There was a solid slap to the right buttock, the coldness making the stinging that much worse. Sean stared over his shoulder incredulously and tried to stand up but a hand suddenly in the small of his back pushed him back down again.
“ No talking. No standing. No anything not already agreed by me. Come on Sean, you’re not that dim,” Viggo’s voice was mild but his hand was anything but. Sean snarled internally but didn’t say a word. Viggo had done this sort of game before which had been remarkably fun but then again it had been in the middle of a centrally heated room. In the freezing cold, up against a tree was another matter entirely.
Viggo waited for a few moments just to make sure Sean wasn’t about to do anything silly before slowly sliding his hand over the round firm and cold muscle of the man’s backside and then even further down to tease between Sean’s legs. As he had guessed regardless of how furious Sean currently was it didn’t take long before the teasing did its job, a soft desperate growl in the back of Sean’s throat accompanying the greatest erection known to man since the building of the pyramids. Viggo grinned to himself. Sean was nicely predictable which was just as well. His own groin was throbbing badly and he doubted whether it could survive the length of time of a general Sean sulk.
On the other hand, the possibilities that it might have to suddenly increased dramatically as Sean reared up and pushed back, swivelling round and pulling them both to the forest floor which was thankfully free of stones and rocks. Rolling, both trying to use their weight to win the battle, Sean ended up straddled over Viggo and looking down at him with his hands tight over Viggo’s wrists.
There was a little Bean smirk, slow, satisfied, and definitely looking for trouble.
“ Right,” breathed Sean. “ Let’s talk about that chain of Command, eh?”
Trouble, it seemed, had been located.
TBC
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no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 04:29 am (UTC)I on the other hand, adored it! I love your Sean / and this has to be great Eagle vengeance.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 12:39 pm (UTC)Although what is inactive sex...? Everyone just lying back and thinking of england?
no subject
Date: 2006-10-26 02:20 am (UTC)"Did I do the bathroom? Because I'm thinking I forgot to clean the loo and I really should have done that. What? Oh you're done. Good."